What Comets, Stars, and Moons are all about

Felt The Lonely Island lost some funny when simply audio and not with video…then iTunes played “Shrooms” followed by the Incredibad theme.

I have to disagree with Arianna Huffington. If there is one segment I would trust more than any with credit it is the Zombie population. Lacking a need for sleep, zombies make excellent workers and therefore have a high productivity rate. Any business that employs zombies is likely to weather this financial storm better than others because they can depend on one zombie to work multiple shifts. That means an undead worker is more likely to hold onto a job then a living worker. If I were a bank I’d much rather offer credit to someone who can hold onto a job. Without the Zombie Banks, who will extend that credit?

I just came across a trailer for the soon to be released documentary The People vs. George Lucas on /Film. I brought it over here because it made me laugh a whole bunch. You should laugh. Now. It would be a perfect entry for the Comet Star Moon Film Festival. Remember when I was running that series of posts? If there is anything consistent about me it is my ability to be inconsistent.

I have to admit, I’m kinda, sorta liking Lily Allen’s new release, but that’s not why I’m taking seconds from my always important day to make a post. I just “loved” her song “Fuck You” on last.fm and was amused by my “recent activity” and wanted to share. Yes, I’m easily amused. I like making last.fm jealous.

Variety is reporting that Brett Ratner, who directs the type of movies I walk away from wishing never happened including the final segment of the X-Men trilogy, has been tapped to direct a film based on Rob Liefeld’s Youngblood. I had a friend in high school who loved everything Liefeld put his fingers on, but beyond the wee bit of respect I give him for being part of the Image revolution, I was never sold on his distortion of the human figure and found his storytelling, specifically in the Youngblood comic (which he was never able to produce on a timely schedule), to be drab and stunted.

I love the quote from Ratner “Most of the great graphic novels are gone, and ‘Youngblood’ is one of the few comicbooks left with tentpole potential.” So, Ratner is essentially saying everything else has been bought up and this is all that’s left. I have to question “tentpole” potential. I’m not exactly in the comic book scene as much as I used to be, but does anyone even feel a deep enough nostalgic connection with Youngblood to make this film do well? I’m predicting a bomb.

Today I continue my experiment in twitter reviewing. The objective: Review an album while restrained by Twitter’s 140 character limit. This Twitter Review is for Wiley’s “See Clear Now.” I was unable to pull off a “twoosh” with this one (using all 140 characters) and clocked in at 139 characters.

Wiley’s “See Clear Now” proves that grime is still stagnant as a genre. Not an unpleasant album, but wholly forgettable. In summation: Meh.

I’m trying out a new experiment on Twitter where I review an album with one tweet. It is incredibly restrictive allowing for less than 140 characters because I need to at the least put the name of the artist in the tweet. A secondary goal is to use all 140 characters. The most recent review is of the debut Fever Ray album from the Knife’ s Karin Dreijer Andersson. My 140 character long twitter review is below.

Karin Dreijer Andersson’s Fever Ray project is the remnant population of a dead planet circling a neutron star. Elegant and lonely gravity.

I’ve put together a list of films I want to see this year. These are mostly bigger budget films. In the coming weeks I’ll have a list of indies and arties that I hope show up at the Wisconsin Film Festival or Sundance Theater. These films are in no particular order. I started off monthly and that quickly fell apart. I also started with links to the trailers, but then I got lazy.

The International

I think this year calls for rewatchings of Run Lola Run, The Princess and the Warrior, and the perfectly twisted Perfume. If I were a betting man I would bet that any year Tom Tykwer releases a film it is going to be a good year for film. But I’ll be honest, the trailer doesn’t pull me in and I fear it could end up being just another Bourne/Bond clone, but I am completely intrigued to see how Tykwer handles a pure action thriller.  (February)

Terminator: Salvation

Christian Bale in a Terminator film released the weekend of my birthday. Do I really need to explain myself? (May)

2012

This film only slightly has my interest. The premise is that the world will end in 2012 as suggested by many ancient calendars. The trailer doesn’t say much to me and it stinks of The Day After Tomorrow. I’m willing to give it a shot. (June)

Friday the 13th

Another relaunch of a popular horror franchise that appears to rewrite the original film. My main issue is this appears to actually have Jason in the film as the killer. As most people should know, Jason wasn’t the killer in the first film, it was his mother. The film also clearly shows Jason wearing a hockey mask and the hockey mask didn’t appear until the third film in the franchise.The first Friday is actually rather painful to re-watch (as is the first Nightmare on Elm Street), so a reboot isn’t totally unnecessary. I’m hoping they are showing Jason in the trailer and on the posters as a sort of red herring and we will go the entire film thinking it is him, but once again it will be revealed it is Ms. Voorhees. (February)

Monsters versus Aliens

Ummm…monsters versus aliens and Stephen Colbert voicing the President. Can you say, awesome? It is entirely possible they will screw this up by making it too kid focused. My excitement for this film has greatly waned since being exposed to…

9

"9" is the name of this movie. It is produced by Tim Burton and Timur Bekmambetov and features the voices of Elijah Wood, Jennifer Connelly, Crispin Glover, and Martin Landau (I consider lending your voice to a project as being akin to making an endorsement for a project, "you won’t see my face, but I’m willing to spend time on this movie because I believe in it"). It is the post apocalypse and the fate of the world rests in the hands of a ragtag bunch of…rag dolls? It looks absolutely gorgeous. I could watch that trailer all day and it is possible I have.

My Bloody Valentine 3d

They had me at the tag line: “Nothing says date movie like a 3D ride to hell.”(February)

Watchmen

There is a very small part of me that hopes this film never gets released, but that it is also as perfect as we all want it to be. Someone eventually sneaks a copy out of the studio and it is only made available during random guerrilla showings at long abandoned cineplexes around the country. Notification that it will be showing in your backyard comes in coded email messages. Fox starts up a secret organization of mercenaries that they not so cleverly call "The Watchmen." Their mission, to track down and destroy the rogue reels of Watchmen. It could happen. (who knows)

Wolverine: Origins

Gambit. Wolverine. Deadpool. ’nuff said. (May)

Eden Log

Eden Log is finally getting some screenage stateside. I’ve been waiting for this movie since I read the Twitch review after the Toronto Film Fest, so I will let Todd Brown explain the film "Ignore the trailers that sell this as a sort of post modern Alien, with our hero fighting his way through a futuristic landscape while battling barely seen creatures. Eden Log is all about the world itself, all about the atmosphere, all about sharing the hero’s journey as he slowly pieces together fragments of what is happening around him. Like the hero the audience arrives completely lost and disoriented and must explore the world that director Franck Vestiel has created. It’s meant to be an immersive experience more than a narrative and on that level what Vestiel has accomplished is truly remarkable, particularly when you consider just how limited his resources were. This is a totally convincing future world, impeccably designed and captured by Vestiel." (February)

Star Trek

Yet another film I don’t feel the need to explain myself for wanting to see. (May)

Street Fighter: Chun Li

I won’t go see this in the theater, but I know it will somehow end up in my house and on my screen. I rented Dead or Alive. I have no shame.

Dragonball Z

I was dragged kicking and screaming into the world of Dragonball Z during a weekend of recovery after a week of debauchery with my friends Wayne and Paul. That weekend began a ritual of working our way through the entire series in very lengthy sittings. I have no faith that this film will be able to capture the lengthy multi-episode battles (three of which tend to simply be Goku building up the Genki Dama (a sphere of energy)).

The Wolfman

There are simply not enough werwolf films in the world. Casting Benicio del Toro as the classic Wolfman charactr is simply inspired. I have high hopes that this will capture the original spirit of this horror icon while scaring the beejeezus out of me.

Whiteout

I have a weird thing for blood in the snow. I have yet to see a film that properly utilizes the horror of being caught ina  whiteout blizzard while a serial killer or monster tracks you. 30 Days of Night had the perfect setting to do this, but failed to take advantage of the landscape. This film, starring Kate Beckinshale as a scientist on Antarctica right before it plunges into six months of darkenss facing off against a killer, definitely has the name to indicate it will give me what I have been looking for in a snow-based horror film.(September)

Public Enemies

I live in Madison. This film, directed by Michael Mann and starring Johnny Depp and Christian Bale was filmed partially in Madison. Therefore, I should see it simply as my civic duty. That it will be an old school gangster flick based around the life and times of John Dillinger, a genre I tend to enjoy very much, is a bonus. (June)

District 9

Little is known about this movie set for release in August. It is supposed to be a movie about aliens who land in Africa and end up as slaves. Some speculate that this is simply cover for the new Halo film. I don’t think it is Halo. Whatever it may be, I like a good alien movie and I enjoy the concept of viral marketing even if I don’t often take part.

From 2009 unread emails to 24. Not too shabby if I say so myself, and I do. Say so. Myself. I just did. Let’s not even start a discussion about my work email box where I have more than 4000 unread emails.